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The After Wife

Cover of The After Wife

The After Wife

A Novel
Borrow Borrow
Gigi Levangie Grazer, the New York Times bestselling author of The Starter Wife, returns with a hilarious and spirited tale of love—both lost and found.

L.A. is no place for widows. This is what forty-four-year-old Hannah Bernal quickly discovers after the tragic death of her handsome and loving husband, John. Misery and red-rimmed eyes are little tolerated in the land of the beautiful. But life stumbles on: Hannah's sweet three-year-old daughter, Ellie, needs to be dropped off at her overpriced preschool, while Hannah herself must get back to work in order to pay the bills on "Casa Sugar," the charming Spanish-styled bungalow they call home.

Fortunately, Hannah has her "Grief Team" for emotional support: earth mother and fanatical animal lover Chloe, who finds a potential blog post in every moment; aspiring actress Aimee, who has her cosmetic surgeon on speed dial; and Jay, Hannah's TV producing partner, who has a penchant for Mr. Wrong. But after a series of mishaps and bizarre occurrences, one of which finds Hannah in a posh Santa Monica jail cell, her friends start to fear for her sanity. To make matters worse, John left their financial affairs in a disastrous state. And when Hannah is dramatically fired from her latest producing gig, she finds herself in danger of losing her house, her daughter, and her mind.

One night, standing in her backyard under a majestic avocado tree, in the throes of grief, Hannah breaks down and asks, "Why?" The answer that comes back—Why not?—begins an astounding journey of discovery and transformation that leads Hannah to her own truly extraordinary life after death.
Praise for The After Wife

"Fans of Lolly Winston, Mary Kay Andrews, and Jennifer Weiner will especially enjoy Grazer's newest."—Booklist

"Hilariously funny and profoundly wise, The After Wife is for anyone who's ever been married or widowed, in debt or in love. I could not put it down: a fabulous read!"—Nancy Thayer, author of Island Girls

"A charming tale of a grieving forty-ish widow—and the wacky friends who love her."—Los Angeles Times

"A book that is part Jacqueline Susann, part Real Housewives . . . Gigi Levangie Grazer [is a] Jimmy Choo'ed-out satirist."—National Post

"Fans of The Starter Wife will be equally charmed with The After Wife."—Library Journal

"Grazer's entertaining satire is sure to spice up any occasion."—Publishers Weekly
From the Hardcover edition.
Gigi Levangie Grazer, the New York Times bestselling author of The Starter Wife, returns with a hilarious and spirited tale of love—both lost and found.

L.A. is no place for widows. This is what forty-four-year-old Hannah Bernal quickly discovers after the tragic death of her handsome and loving husband, John. Misery and red-rimmed eyes are little tolerated in the land of the beautiful. But life stumbles on: Hannah's sweet three-year-old daughter, Ellie, needs to be dropped off at her overpriced preschool, while Hannah herself must get back to work in order to pay the bills on "Casa Sugar," the charming Spanish-styled bungalow they call home.

Fortunately, Hannah has her "Grief Team" for emotional support: earth mother and fanatical animal lover Chloe, who finds a potential blog post in every moment; aspiring actress Aimee, who has her cosmetic surgeon on speed dial; and Jay, Hannah's TV producing partner, who has a penchant for Mr. Wrong. But after a series of mishaps and bizarre occurrences, one of which finds Hannah in a posh Santa Monica jail cell, her friends start to fear for her sanity. To make matters worse, John left their financial affairs in a disastrous state. And when Hannah is dramatically fired from her latest producing gig, she finds herself in danger of losing her house, her daughter, and her mind.

One night, standing in her backyard under a majestic avocado tree, in the throes of grief, Hannah breaks down and asks, "Why?" The answer that comes back—Why not?—begins an astounding journey of discovery and transformation that leads Hannah to her own truly extraordinary life after death.
Praise for The After Wife

"Fans of Lolly Winston, Mary Kay Andrews, and Jennifer Weiner will especially enjoy Grazer's newest."—Booklist

"Hilariously funny and profoundly wise, The After Wife is for anyone who's ever been married or widowed, in debt or in love. I could not put it down: a fabulous read!"—Nancy Thayer, author of Island Girls

"A charming tale of a grieving forty-ish widow—and the wacky friends who love her."—Los Angeles Times

"A book that is part Jacqueline Susann, part Real Housewives . . . Gigi Levangie Grazer [is a] Jimmy Choo'ed-out satirist."—National Post

"Fans of The Starter Wife will be equally charmed with The After Wife."—Library Journal

"Grazer's entertaining satire is sure to spice up any occasion."—Publishers Weekly
From the Hardcover edition.
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Excerpts-
  • From the book

    1

    The Last Time

    September. Saturday. Time? Frikkin' early.

    "Now? Really?" I said. "But, I'm so tired . . ." I pulled the covers over my head.

    "I just want to sleep in," I said, my voice muffled. Work had been brutal this week. My producing partner-in-crime, Jay Oleson, and I had shot a reality show pilot in five days, watched helplessly as our director stormed off, were at the root of a possible lawsuit from a competing production company, and had been fired and rehired twice in three hours by the network head.

    But who was I kidding? My acting chops are on par with Snooki's.

    "That's what all the girls say at six in the morning," John, my husband, said, in his hoarse morning voice as he tried to slide my pajama bottoms off without untying them. Well, guess what, my hips are actually bigger than my waist. This is where we consistently run into trouble.

    "I hate you," I said, as I frantically slipped the pants to my ankles. I was already wet. My hands grabbed the headboard and held steady.

    "I hate you, too," John said, his unshaven cheek against mine, his breathing heavy. He was already inside me. Our routine had been going on for a good . . . how old was Ellie? Our daughter, our curly-haired, chubby, nearsighted daughter. Born Valentine's Day three years ago. So, over four years.

    "Ouch," I said, shifting my hips. Pain and pleasure brought me back to the bed, which hadn't known a quiet moment since John moved in. My hands were still holding on to that headboard. We'd cracked it long ago. There was no plan to fix it. What would be the point?

    John wrapped his arm around me, squeezing me tight and grinding his hips against my rump, the one he encouraged to grow by throwing things like linguini with duck sausage and truffles at it.

    "You could gain a few," he'd say, slapping my bottom. There are no sexier words in the English language. "You could gain a few." And to me, not a small person. Not a person who looked like she missed a meal. Ever.

    "No," I said, "no, no, no . . ." I liked to protest, though I wouldn't go so far as a painted sign or a bullhorn. Just enough so he wouldn't think I was easy. I mean, even though we were married and all.

    On Saturday mornings, John liked to be at the Farmer's Market on the Third Street Promenade early—before the regular customers, the crowds, the crazies—to show off Ellie to his old chef buddies, smell the fresh produce, bag some grapes, pears, figs, haggle over the price of bison, down oysters perfumed by the Pacific, and grab an espresso.

    We'd be eating something amazing tonight. Something with figs. Figs, a brown sauce, a roast guinea hen? Of course, we usually ate something amazing for dinner—even if it were a simple, perfect omelet. John had been a chef until he retired to stay home, raise our daughter, and write his cookbooks. I encouraged him. He'd mesmerized me from the get-go, using his powers of mind control, his slight pooch, his manly forearms, and his penis-wand.

    Goddamn, my husband's hot. I bit his shoulder. Like biting into a ham.

    You've probably heard of them—John's books, I mean—the Cooking for Bachelors series. He'd been a busboy, waiter, sous chef, head chef, then private chef for various celebrities before Mexican for Bachelors, Italian for Bachelors, and French for Bachelors took off. No, no. John's not a bachelor. If he were a bachelor, I'd know about it. But he had spent a long time—forty years—being a bachelor . . . so he'd done his research. That is, before I pinned him down one sunny afternoon in my front yard at...
About the Author-
  • Gigi Levangie Grazer is the bestselling author of four previous novels, including The Starter Wife, first a miniseries and then a series on the USA Network, and Maneater, now a Lifetime miniseries. Her most recent book, Queen Takes King, is currently under option at Lifetime. Grazer has also written the screenplay for Stepmom, starring Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon, and articles for Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, and Glamour. She lives in Los Angeles with her two children and one miniature dachshund.

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    Penguin Random House Audio Publishing Group
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    All copies of this title, including those transferred to portable devices and other media, must be deleted/destroyed at the end of the lending period.

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The After Wife
The After Wife
A Novel
Gigi Levangie Grazer
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